|There was a young lady of Gloucester
Who married a farmer named Foucester.
Next day, she said: "Now,
I will milk this nice cow"
But the cow was a bull - and it toucester.
|A wily young student from Par
Found grammar too boring by far,
So she hid all her books
in deep crannies and nooks,
Then announced: "Where there're not, there I are".
|There was an old fellow from Sidney
Who dined on a pie - steak and kidney.
Then he drank some wine (red),
And fell down, quite dead.
Still, he went very happily, didney.
|A lady named Renee McFeeny
Bought, in a sale, a bikini.
But immersed in the sea,
it shrunk ever so wee,
And revealed what it shouldn't of Renee.
|An old Scottish lady named Hannah
Danced in a most ladylike manner.
To her friend, Anna Bell,
She explained herself: "Well,
I canna can-can, canna, Anna?"
|A pop-star whose smash-hits were none,
Was hit in the back by a gun.
He let out a roar
For five minutes or more
And was voted the week's Number One.
|A skinhead with nothing to do
Tried to rob an old granny named Pugh.
But he wound up in bed
With a lump on his head,
For she was hot stuff on Kung Fu.
|A magician named Percival Pridie
Said to a lady called Heidi:
"My assistant's got flu -
May I saw you in two?"
She was buried on Thursday and Friday.
|When Henry the Eighth was a lad
He said: "It's remarkably sad
To have only one wife
For the rest of your life -
I think I'll have six!" And he had.
|The Romans had, so it appears,
IV limbs, I nose and II ears.
The toes of these men
All numbered X,
And they lived LX months in V years.