| There was a young lady of Gloucester Who married a farmer named Foucester. Next day, she said: "Now, I will milk this nice cow" But the cow was a bull - and it toucester. |
A wily young student from Par Found grammar too boring by far, So she hid all her books in deep crannies and nooks, Then announced: "Where there're not, there I are". |
| There was an old fellow from Sidney Who dined on a pie - steak and kidney. Then he drank some wine (red), And fell down, quite dead. Still, he went very happily, didney. |
A lady named Renee McFeeny Bought, in a sale, a bikini. But immersed in the sea, it shrunk ever so wee, And revealed what it shouldn't of Renee. |
| An old Scottish lady named Hannah Danced in a most ladylike manner. To her friend, Anna Bell, She explained herself: "Well, I canna can-can, canna, Anna?" |
A pop-star whose smash-hits were none, Was hit in the back by a gun. He let out a roar For five minutes or more And was voted the week's Number One. |
| A skinhead with nothing to do Tried to rob an old granny named Pugh. But he wound up in bed With a lump on his head, For she was hot stuff on Kung Fu. |
A magician named Percival Pridie Said to a lady called Heidi: "My assistant's got flu - May I saw you in two?" She was buried on Thursday and Friday. |
| When Henry the Eighth was a lad He said: "It's remarkably sad To have only one wife For the rest of your life - I think I'll have six!" And he had. |
The Romans had, so it appears, IV limbs, I nose and II ears. The toes of these men All numbered X, And they lived LX months in V years. |
